I Almost Forget by Matthew Nienow

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It could be yesterday 

I was standing in the yard

with three joints, folding 

my hands over them 

in a kind of prayer, 

lighting one 

after another to toke 

deeply as I paced.

I remember that day 

because it was my last. 

And though I love

stories, I am not 

the one I told 

about need and loss. 

I set that story down 

to begin this living. 

It was like returning 

to myself after more

than twenty years away. 

That day, I walked the field

to the forest path

aching for the change

and because of it. I didn’t 

know you had already 

made peace with the idea 

of leaving me, of loving me

from afar. What changed then, 

when I told you I was done 

for good? I was still stoned 

when I made that claim, still 

numb and unreachable

on that distant shore.

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Matthew Nienow is the author of two collections published by Alice James Books: House of Water (2016) and If Nothing (forthcoming in 2025). He lives in Port Townsend, Washington, with his wife and two sons, where he works as a mental health counselor.

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29 July 2024