Girl by Brenna Womer
after Jamaica Kincaid
Measure bleach into the washer as it fills, before you add the whites and never after; don’t dry anything with towels except more towels, and check the lint trap after every load; when you spill something on your clothes like you always do, cover the spot in dish soap before it sets; everything shrinks in the dryer so buy a size up and don’t be vain about it; avoid yellow—our people don’t look good in yellow; thaw hamburger in the fridge not on the counter; poke holes in potatoes before baking; is it true you write notes to boys in Sunday school?; don’t chew like a cow with your mouth open; on Sundays, try to sit up straight in the pew like a lady and not like the slut you are so bent on becoming; don’t write notes to boys in Sunday school; ignore the airmen who talk to you in the shopette and the BX food court and the base gym; don’t eat bananas in public; but I don’t write notes to boys in church at all and never in Sunday school; this is how to fasten a safety pin; this is how to pin closed your V-neck another two inches; this is how to cover yourself completely in the presence of your father and grandfather to keep from looking like the slut I know you are so bent on becoming; this is how you starch your father’s uniform top so there’s a crease through the stripes on each arm; this is how you starch your father’s uniform bottoms so there’s a crease down the middle of each pantleg; this is how you plant marigolds by the front door without packing the soil too tight so it strangles the roots or too loose so the roots don’t know they’re planted; when you’re growing basil don’t let it flower or else the leaves will stop coming in; this is how you vacuum the stairs; this is how you vacuum under the beds and couches; this is how you vacuum the whole house; this is how you gossip with someone you don’t trust too much; this is how you gossip with someone you don’t trust at all; this is how you gossip with someone you trust completely; this is how you set a TV tray for dinner; this is how you laugh at America’s Funniest Home Videos; this is how you set an extra TV tray for a dinner guest; this is how you make a sandwich that won’t get soggy in your backpack by lunch; this is how you rinse your cereal bowl before catching the bus; this is how to behave in the presence of men you meet so they won’t recognize immediately the slut I have warned you against becoming; always wear deodorant, and if you forget, wash your armpits in the sink with soap and water whenever you start to smell yourself, because if you can other people can too; don’t pick wedgies during softball when you’re playing catcher—everyone in the stands can see, and they’re laughing at you; don’t pick my tulips to sell through the fence—people will think we’re poor; don’t keep butterflies in jars without holes because they need air too; this is how to make spaghetti with meat sauce; this is how to microwave a hotdog so it doesn’t split; this is how to make tuna casserole; this is how to swallow a pill; this is how to swallow more than one pill at a time; this is how to pray so God forgives you for touching yourself; this is how to call a dog inside; this is how to call a dog inside when he doesn’t come the first time; this is how to love a man when you don’t; this is how a man tries to love you; this is how to fuck a man with your mouth so you don’t get pregnant, and if this doesn’t work don’t feel too bad because he’s probably addicted to porn and that’s his own fault; this is how to make a friend, and this how to lose one when they get close; this is how to water down shampoo so you don’t have to buy a new bottle till payday; always thump a melon to make sure it’s fresh; but what if the grocer won’t let me touch the melons?; you mean to say that after all you’re really going to be the kind of woman who a grocer won’t let near the melons?
Brenna Womer is a queer, childfree, Latine prose writer and poet. She is the author of Unbrained (FlowerSong Press, 2023), Honeypot (Spuyten Duyvil, 2019), and two chapbooks. She is an Assistant Professor at California State University, Fresno, where she teaches in the Master of Fine Arts in Creative Writing program.
22 August 2024
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